True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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