i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
