After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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