dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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