i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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