I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
