He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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