false alarm. still invincible.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
