she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
