You're my little dorito
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i wish my penis had a tongue
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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