I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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