you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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