it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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