now i know why i became what i already was.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
