it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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