Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
