its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
