But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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