so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
