she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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