last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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