He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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