And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
