Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
