I have demons in me.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
