i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.