Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?