Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(847): View more from Illinois

hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??

Fav 146 1317 5295
share tweet
(905): View more from Toronto

just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.

Fav 35 1362 10573
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.

Fav 75 1745 6534
share tweet
(361): View more from Texas

Did i throw a brick at someone last night?

Fav 15 6072 1779
share tweet
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Read it at the TFLN blog
(608): View more from Wisconsin

Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.

Fav 8 4156 1166
share tweet
(414): View more from Wisconsin

we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.

Fav 6 3496 1156
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(419): View more from Ohio

I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.

Fav 4 1327 2366
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(469): View more from Texas

He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.

Fav 1 1083 494
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(224): View more from Illinois

At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest

Fav 0 223 124
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT