I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
