Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
