this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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