I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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