There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
My ATM looks so different sober.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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