When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
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we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
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Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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