one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
