i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
