She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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