his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
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Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
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Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.