Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.