His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
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Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
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By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.