after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Someone came in the potted fern
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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