States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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