Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize