Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
