yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Randomize
