I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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