I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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