Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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