You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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