My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
