trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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