what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
