i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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