We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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