i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
