Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
