I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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