Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
