we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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