There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
So squirting runs in the family.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
