Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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