If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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