why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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