Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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