I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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