i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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