I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
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