Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize