i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We left an ass print on the piano.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
