Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Randomize
