Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
